Do the Inner Work First to be Successful
ARE YOU STUCK?
Do you feel stuck in a cycle of yo-yo dieting? Binge and restrict? Working out and then not? Can’t seem to find the right balance? Chances are you need to understand your WHY. Once you can learn and understand more about why you are doing it and what you REALLY want, it can help you to move forward and eventually and finally out of the cycle you have been stuck in for years.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
This is not uncommon and not your fault so the very first thing to do is to stop blaming yourself. Stop thinking that you should have done better. Stop hating yourself for overeating or falling off the diet wagon, no matter how many times you fell. Your goals need to be realistic and sustainable and they need to make sense for you, fitting into your life. This isn’t about going from 0-100 as fast as possible, it is about finding new habits that we can fit into your life as it is now. Habits that are seamless and enrich the lifestyle you love. Habits that you can be sustainable and consistent with in the long term.
WHERE TO START
YOUR goals and dreams. Is your goal to lose weight? Gain weight? Get stronger? Be fitter? Feel healthier? We need to unpick your goal and the reason for wanting it. Let’s take weight loss as an example (because it’s a damn common one!) WHY do you want to lose weight? Is it because you think you will be happier at a smaller size? Why will you be happier? What will it bring to your life? Do YOU actually want to be smaller or is there a driving force? Diet culture for example? or because you want someone to like you better or because you think you will fit in more?
Chances are when we fully unpick your why, it will surprise you. I can tell you from personal experience that chasing a smaller body actually made me more miserable, more unhealthy and ultimately extremely unhappy. Even when I hit the ever elusive size I chased for years, I was miserable, more self critical than ever and developed patterns of disordered eating that continued for years.
Activity: UNPICK your why. Write down your goal and why you want to achieve it. For every answer, ask yourself why again! Once you have reached 5 whys, you should be in a better place of understanding what you actually want!
Diet culture bullshit is everywhere. Like literally everywhere. It tells women in particular to take up less space, to look a certain way, to want certain goals, fatphobia, weight stigma, juice cleanses, detoxes, waist trainers, cut carbs, fast, do keto…..the list goes on! It’s overwhelming right?
The first step is to spot it. Pick out the diet culture (it’s usually from companies trying to sell you their bullshit products) and challenge it. Unpick it. Understand it and see it for what it is, a multi million pound scheme. It has women believing they are not enough as they are. And that my friend, is bullshit. You are worthy and enough in any body size
FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Fixing your relationship with yourself, with food, with exercise is the next step. It's a HUGE step. It will be a long and difficult road but I promise you it will be worth it. This will take you on the path to understanding your body, what works for you, what doesn’t. How you love to move, how it makes you feel, what you can achieve. It will help you to focus on goals that aren’t aesthetic based and will help you to see what you are willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals. To become fitter, stronger, healthier, more mindful, your life shouldn't be miserable. It shouldn't be a struggle to maintain this lifestyle. You should be able to listen to your body and understand what it wants and needs to work optimally both mentally and physically.
Understand that this is a journey. You need to put in the work every single day. You won’t wake up one morning and decide you love yourself just as you are but that is definitely what we want to work towards. Loving or at least accepting your body as it is just now, even if you have goals (including weight loss) that you want to work towards, will help you to LIVE!
Whilst you are busy worrying about your clothes size, what you should be eating, how much you should be training and beating yourself up because you don’t think you look as good as the 19 year old “fitfluencer” you saw on instagram, you are MISSING OUT on your life! This is it! You are living it right now, we don’t get a second chance so please don’t waste your time hating your body. Do the inner work first and find a happy and healthy that fits for you.